Friday, March 10, 2006

Croydon Knife Crimes?

On my way home last night I passed through Croydon train station where the police had blocked off all the platform exits and erected large scanning devices of the kind more normally (for now) seen in airports. A sign nearby proclaimed that they were making my journey safer by checking that people travelling on the train with me aren't carrying anything nasty. Like knives.

I passed by without being hassled, but on an impulse turned around and approached two police nearby.

'What's the law concerning carrying penknives then?' I ask.

They squint at me, obviously thinking, he's got a knife!

'Two point, what is it?' Says one.

'Two point seven, I think?' Says cop number two.

I assume they are talking size of blade, and inches. But they don't know for sure, which is worrying.

'Unless it locks.' Says cop 1.

'Yes, unless it locks.' Parrots cop 2.

'Ah, I say,' pulling out my small locking penknife. They stare at it, as if it is a bomb.

'This is small,' I continue, '...but locks. So I can't carry it then?'

'No.' Says cop 1.

'You shouldn't have it.' Says cop 2. Cop 2 looks like she wants to take my knife away.

'So,' I say, putting it back in my pocket, 'I'll just take it home and not carry it again, eh?'

They stare at me as I walk backwards and escape.

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