Ralpharama

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

SuperNoodles are horrible

In desperation, in the madness of hunger, I found a packet of SuperNoodles at the back of my cupboard. Sweet and Sour flavour...

Into the pan they went, I forgot to measure the amount of water, but just slooshed some in. After a few minutes I tasted the brew - oh my god, wtf is that? Chemical sensations linger on my tongue for a few moments and then fade, leaving merely a sticky, tacky, metallic one. I actually shudder at this point.

What can we add? What can we add? Ah! Here we are, soy sauce! Splash! And chilli sauce! Splash! Cook, cook, taste, shudder. Hmm, I know, some cheese, I like cheese. I imagine a thick, rich cheesy sauce with noodles in it. Chip chop! In the cheese goes. Cook, cook, taste, oh my god, it's bad, bad, bad. The cheese seems to have separated into thin yellow liquid and sticky solids... Not good.

Must thicken sauce up to make it into the delightful cheesy pleasure I imagined. In wades the cornflower. Not one to pussyfoot around, he adds himself liberally (after mixing in a little cold water of course! Ha, I've done that trick before) and we Cook, cook, taste, shudder.

Well, damn it, I've invested too much in this now. So I eat it. Every chemically, cheesy, thick mouthful of it.

I feel a little ill...

Thanks, Batchelors SuperNoodles, what a great lunch. (The SuperNoodle catchphrase is 'you are what you eat')

Friday, January 25, 2008

A knitted village... Words fail me.

A knitted village... Words fail me. - Posted from http://mobypicture.com

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Nimba says hello

Nimba says hello - Posted from http://mobypicture.com

Thursday, January 17, 2008

'the orphans' first gig, stonewell...

'the orphans' first gig, stonewell tavern, Lancaster. Great! - Posted from http://mobypicture.com

Friday, December 21, 2007

Odd dream

I had this dream the other night, most vivid for a long time. After mulling it over for a while I know what it means now. Do you?

I found myself in a world where something terrible had happened and I was surrounded by Zombies. They seemed to be everywhere and all the un-afflicted people would have to be constantly on guard in case of attack. It wasn't too difficult to defeat these Zombies though, a simple whack on the head with any suitable tool would do the trick. But you always had to be on your guard, lest you were bitten as you slept.

After some time living in this world, I found my way to a large group of people who were not Zombies and had a long-term plan for the future. As I chatted to them an enormous rat-like creature, larger than an elephant appeared; roaring and snarling, its huge teeth gnashing as it ran towards the group.

I grabbed a phaser-type gun from someone and opened fire. The creature was stopped, but seemed to take a long time to die. It fixed me in the eye and said, 'Don't kill me, I have something important to tell you.' But I didn't believe it, and fired on. 'Tell me quickly, so I can stop firing before you die.' I said. 'Ah,' it replied, in agony, 'it would take longer than that.' And died.

At this point two huge unearthly swords appeared shooting up into the sky, one red, one blue, stretching from the horizon to above our heads. A voice from everywhere at once boomed, 'By your act, you have chosen the to have your world ruled by men, not by gods.'

I realised then that the voice was from a race of alien-like creatures, who had caused the Zombies and the rat, and that this was all part of some vast plan, unknowable for now.

The blue sword fell from the sky towards us, it's fiery blade flashing.

As it hit us the everything changed and found myself in a new world. The Zombies were gone, and all around were people, going about their normal business. All was as it used to be, but the architecture was strange, the people odd.

I lived in this world for a while, until one day I was in a recreational building, watching a group of men drink beer and banter. A feeling of deja-vu came over me as I listened to them. I realised suddenly that I had heard this before, word-for-word, in a sitcom from a decade earlier. This was scripted, all these people were fakes, nothing was real, or as it seemed after all. This was still part of the aliens' plan.

I wandered outside and awoke.